SEVERE TIRE DAMAGE: ORNAMENTAL COMIC TOAD

(Russ Haines)


At Severe Tire Damage Studios there's a little ceramic figure of a frog with a sign: "You'd Be Happy, Too, If You Could Eat What Bugs You."

A gift from Russ' Grandmother, the box it came in calls it an "Ornamental Comic Toad". The word "ornamental" must distinguish it from "practical" toads. And they must call it "Comic" to keep people from accidentally buying those "Ornamental Tragic Toads" you keep seeing advertised.

The box also calls it a "Ceramic Happy Frog".

Go figure...


Listen:

What is an Ornamental Comic Toad?
A question that is quickly posed-
A subject of which no one knows-

I want an...
It's something that I feel I'm owed
And I will share with you...

You'd be happy too,
if you could eat what bugs you.

What is an Ornamental Comic Toad?
A question that is quickly posed-
A subject of which no one knows-
...but me...

TRUMPET SOLO

What is an Ornamental Comic Toad?
A question that is quickly posed-
A subject of which no one knows-

I want an...
It's something that I feel I'm owed
And I will share with you...

You'd be happy too,
if you could eat what bugs you.

What is an Ornamental Comic Toad?
A question that is quickly posed-
A subject of which no one knows-
...but me...

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